Columns & Editorials
Beginning in college, Benny started writing letters to the editor in local newspapers. Benny began writing columns in 1992 for the Community Messenger and continued to write for this publication until 2003 when it ceased publication. In 1994, he started writing for the Campus Chronicle, a national trade publication and continues to write his monthly columns. Usually he writes about humorous events that happen in life in dealing with raising children. Other times, he will write about business related or political issues. Readers across the country have compared him as the "Second Coming of Lewis Grizzard" ...a compliment he accepts without reservation. He still writes letters to the editor when the urge moves him to start writing. Below are some of his most recent columns.
Introducing Timothy Montgomery Python
October 9 2006Last year I wrote about a project that Trey did for school involving what he wanted to be when he was grown. Then and now, being a herpetologist is in the plans.
Now having a bedroom that is herpetology themed would seem creepy to many folks, is really pretty cool. Guess I could never make this the guest room for unsuspecting company as it would not seem hospitable to ask someone to sleep in a room that has a 10 foot + long Burmese Python skin and a 38 inch rattlesnake skin hanging on the wall. It may be too much to ask for them to have to stare at the coiled rattlesnake that is posed in an attack stance or the alligator head that is on the shelf. While it may give you the willies, this is Trey's room and he is happy with it.
We recently attended a reptile show at the University of Alabama at Birmingham, a monthly show where breeders buy and sell nonpoisonous snakes and the public is invited to attend. We paid the admission fee...yes, we had to pay to see hundreds of snakes, but it is worth it to me to see Trey's eyes light up and his mind going into overdrive about things that attract his interest.
Trey worked the room and asked all kinds of questions. He was in his element. I just tried to keep up with him as he absorbed more knowledge about caring for snakes. It was my intention to come to this show and only look, but I think that Trey had other plans.
The room was filled with boa constrictors, milk snakes, corn snakes, ball pythons and rat snakes...along with many others of all shapes and sizes. After talking with caretakers from the Birmingham Zoo and other snake owners, it had been recommended that a corn or milk snake would make a good pet. This is something that I would consider letting Trey have as a pet.
When we went to take a water break, Trey met another young man about his age and the boys father. As the boys conversed about snakes, the adults engaged in a conversation about snakes as pets. The man said that while snakes did not rank high on his list of animals to raise, he enjoyed the quality time that he was able to share with his son. Trey's new found friend told Trey that a ball python was a great pet and that he had several. We discovered that a ball python is pretty laid back and does not get excited like a corn or milk snake.
Back at the show, Trey found one dealer that had several ball pythons for sale. Without giving me a chance to use my negotiating skills to get a better price, he selected the one he wanted. In that it was not too expensive...around $25, I went ahead and completed the sale.
Buying a snake was probably already in the cards for us as we had already borrowed a reptile terrarium from my sister that would become home for our new pet.
On the ride home, we discussed names...nothing I mentioned really grabbed Trey...I even tried to suggest Monty, but that was brushed aside. Out of the blue, Trey announced that his name would be Timothy Montgomery Python and that he would call him Timmy. If I was a snake and someone named me Timmy ...I would probably hang myself! It just doesn't sound masculine enough. Once he was settled on the name, I told him that Monty was a nickname for Montgomery. For whatever reason, Monty Python did not grab him. I tried to explain all about the English troupe of hucksters called Monty Python and how popular they were when I was growing up. This did not resonate with Trey. Everyone else calls him Monty.
A few nights after we brought the snake home, we caught a tree frog outside the church as we left Boy Scouts. Normally, Trey would have admired it for a short while and talked to it before letting it go. This night was different. He held it and spoke to the frog in terms that the frog could not understand. It had something to do with becoming a part of the food chain and getting introduced to a certain snake at our house. Once we got home, I think the frog began to realize what Trey had been conveying to him when he introduced the frog to the reptile habitat. That frog bounced around the glass and made sure that he stayed off the menu. Even with my assistance of trying to get the two better acquainted...neither party was interested. One time they were less than two inches apart and facing each other in quest to see who would blink first. Nothing happened. After several days, I suggested to Trey that we free the frog since he had survived for so long under hostile conditions and I was worried about the frog having a heart attack. He agreed. I have never seen a frog so happy and leaping for joy like this one did when I freed him. It was almost like he was chirping a song that sounded something like Born Free.
It has been several weeks since we introduced Monty...AKA Timmy to Trey...to his new digs. He seems to like his surroundings. Most of the time, he is receptive to his weekly feedings and it is really fascinating to watch him eat. After a feeding, we do not handle the snake for several days as we do not want to be on the menu either.
It is easier than I expected to handle the snake. I frequently have to take Monty out for a walk or give him to Trey to play with as he watches TV. Being a small snake...less than 2 feet in length...he will grow into a larger snake...depending on how much we feed him...around 5 feet in length. I told Trey that he would probably never get a date when he was older and that he was jeopardizing my dating opportunities as we speak!
In that Trey comes from a long line of preachers as his grandfather and great great grandfather were preachers...he could work this into a dual vocational opportunity one day combining his love of herpetology with the potential to preach and become a snake handling preacher.
Thank Goodness for the Internet
August 31 2006One of the responsibilities of my job with Long's Electronics and Title Books is to interact with my customers...usually educators. Up until recently, my interaction was through appearances at trade shows across the country. Doing these shows enables us to keep our company name fresh in our customers minds and to establish new relationships with potential customers.
I am a firm believer in the old saying of out of sight, out of mind. In today's world, it is so easy to find the same products you are offering from a different source. If you do not keep the lines of communication open with your customers, chances are they will buy elsewhere as you are probably not the only game in town. Not only do you have to offer competitive pricing, but you have to provide quality customer service.
Recently, we took our companies approach to customer service to a new level. We are calling on the customer directly and planting that seed that Long's Electronics and Title Books want to be their partner in education. There is quite a bit of preparation that initially goes in to building this approach. First, we select the areas of the state that need the most attention. Then, a list of all schools and libraries in a particular county are listed. That being done, I get to spend some time with my new best friend...MapQuest. From this site, I am able to get fairly accurate driving directions from point A to point B with few problems. This site is a life saver! I cannot imagine what road warriors of days gone by did without such a tool. I am able to spend one day printing up directions to specific libraries and schools for several counties...maps that will be later filed by county name for use the next time these customers are to be visited. Once this is done, I plan my itinerary and hit the road.
How many of you are wondering where your customers have gone? College stores usually get a new crop of customers with every new school year. Manufacturers have to stay on top of trends to know what the next craze will be. Not only do you have to be able to feature your products at shows, but you have to make your product known to those that are not able to attend these shows. The buying public is funny, with so many choices they shop with the business that advertises to them. Part of my job is to not only represent our companies, but to learn about my customers on a personal level...what they like to do, family, college allegiance...just the general stuff to build a relationship.
I am amazed at the responses I get from my customers when I show them new ways to use a product or how a new product will streamline the educational process. This one to one contact is something that they really appreciate. Hopefully, they will remember us when they get their funding to make new purchases.
On one recent road trip, my day started off at a vocational center next to a local high school in central Alabama. Like with so many of my customers, I engaged in a conversation about kids, college etc...things that we both may have in common. It turned out that we knew some of the same people. One was my old roommate at the TKE House in Auburn whom she attended high school with. Another was the former superintendent of another school system that I have had dealings with and helped with donated school equipment after Hurricane Ivan damaged his community. His son was in the wedding of her son. That simple connection led us to learn that we were connected by something thicker than blood...a love for orange and blue...Auburn University or as I call it, "God's Country." Hopefully, I have established a relationship that will open the door to future business.
As I made my way through the county, I stopped at a local restaurant to eat lunch or what I refer to as "grabbing a bite to eat." It was at this place that I wished I was able to use my computer to find MapQuest to locate the nearest Walgreen's to find some Grecian Formula as my waitress insisted on giving me the senior citizens discount for my lunch. Just because I am getting gray...in my mind I am still 21...I just move slower than I used to. I believe the waitresses name was "Sweetie" or was that what she called me? Either way, she was good natured about teasing me over the tint of my hair color and I will dine with her again...and expect my discount!
The Wanderer
July 27 2006Continuing on with the music theme from my last column...I recently returned from a trip to Cocoa Beach, Florida. While the focus of the trip was to attend the Amateur Athletic Union National Championship Basketball Tournament and Universal Studios - Island of Adventure. My plans included beach, relaxation and lots of sun...with a side trip to the Kennedy Space Center thrown in as a bonus.
Late one afternoon while walking along the beach, I struck up a conversation with a young man that lived at the condo building we were staying at as he fished for his supper. Matt is from Lima, Ohio and found that his adventure to Cocoa Beach is interesting.
In early May 2005, Matt arrived in Cocoa Beach with nothing more than a backpack and $1500 in his pocket. He came across The Marlin Apartments/Condos and rented a place to stay for a month at $1500. After handing over his money, he came to the realization that now he no longer had any money to do anything or even buy food.
Matt discovered quickly that he had some pretty savvy survival skills that he put in place. He started going to one of the motels across the street and enjoying their free continental breakfast each morning until the staff caught on to his routine. By then, they had come to like him and know him...telling him to trim back his daily meals to only a couple a week.
Deciding to look for work, Matt took some temporary jobs to put food on the table until he decided what his master plan was going to be. One job he found was sitting in a chair all day watching a cargo ship to make sure that no one jumped off the ship to enter the United States illegally. That was too boring. So he found other things to do.
Finally he landed a job as a handyman for The Marlin Apartments and was given an opportunity to move into a unit that had received water damage in a fire years before at a reduced monthly rate. It seems the owner never invested any money for repairs after the fire. Having warped cabinets was not an issue for Matt.
While this situation offers little for the long term, it satisfies his need for now. After tenants leave from their weekly stays...Matt inspects all units and is able to keep all food left in the refrigerators along with any items left in the unit that are not later claimed.
He now has a regular job at a steak house across the highway and that is his main source of income. He has the late afternoons off where he can either go surf or fish.
Oh to be young and so carefree!
I inquired about the fishing from the beach and he replied that in the last 14 months, he had caught 12 sharks about three feet in length. Those, he claims are the easiest to clean and best to eat. Each fish will feed him for several days. Other days, he catches other fish...keeping only those that are good to eat.
His luck was not too good the week I was there as each time I asked if he caught anything...he would reply that the only thing he caught was a buzz from the beer he drank while fishing!
Maybe one day I will end up on the ocean where I can fish from the beach, catch a buzz and since I will probably be so old...look at all of the bikinis walking up and down the beach!
Don't worry about Matt...I am sure that he will figure out what he wants to do one day. For now, we left him several meals in the refrigerator upon our departure so that he can solve the problems of the world on a full stomach.
And They Called It Puppy Love
July 3 2006Sandy and I took the boys to Alabama Adventure, our state theme park, to celebrate Chris' 10th birthday. Katie and one of her friends followed us there and we never saw them again. We had purchased season passes and had to get our pictures made before we could enter either of the two parks. It was a normal hot day in June and we decided to go ride the rides before it got too hot.
In my younger days, I could ride with the best of them to tackle any ride available. Last summer, I met my Waterloo on the Mind Spinner. I will not go into the details, but suffice it to say that I stayed away from it this year and was on the receiving end of jokes by everyone. I decided to work my way up to the wilder rides...or at least I thought I did. We rode a few rides and made our way to the Zoomerang...a new rollercoaster that zips, loops, spins, goes forward, goes backward...all in a matter of seconds. It is a marvel of physics that is presently being studied to learn more about the effect of G forces have on increased heart rates and weightlessness. On this ride, Trey was the smart one. He had no plans to go near this ride. Sandy had a sore neck and that served as an excuse not to ride. I have to give her credit as she rode all of the other rides...some of which I stayed away from. Chris really wanted to ride the Zoomerang and I caved in to his request. He selected the very front seat and I knew this was not going to be my day. I braced myself and clutched my glasses for the most violent ride of my life, but I survived. Chris squealed the entire time as I gritted my teeth. I emerged from this ride with bruises on my shoulders and back.
We rode several more rides and took a lunch break before we headed over to Splash Beach.
The water was a welcome relief on such a hot day. The boys headed right for the wading pool where it is loaded with all kinds that you might find at the playground at McDonald's, only water is shooting everywhere and there is one spot where you can stand under a huge bucket that fills with water, tipping over when it fills up, dumping thousands of gallons of water on those standing below.
After a while, we floated down the river where you can either walk or float down a channel of water that is rushing through. This was later closed for a little while after a water snake tried to join the merriment until he was removed.
The boys decided it was time to go ride the different water related rides. Chris chose to slide down the 90 foot water slide. I chose not to. Trey had his eyes on the Mine Shaft, a ride that takes you down a series of spiraling tunnels on a tube...in the dark. Sandy and I joined them. This was a blast! One time as Trey and Chris made their way back up to the start of the ride, I noticed a little girl wearing a swimming mask had worked her way near Trey. As they made their way up the steps, she kept nudging her tube into Trey's back and face. She finally got his attention and they struck up a conversation. It was like no one else was there. They even tried to swap riders so that they go ride together. It didn't happen. So they rode separately. At the end of the ride, Trey asked if they could go together down the ride. His new friend, Claire, told her little brother to wait for her, but he didn't listen very well as he headed back to find his folks on his own. Trey and Claire rode down through the dark tunnels together and Trey helped Claire to shore. Noticing her brother had left, Claire took off. By the time Trey noticed that Claire was not there...she was no where to be seen. Trey was devastated.
I offered to help him look for Claire, seeing the despair on his face. He said something about her being in a dream that he had and that "She was the one!" Apparently, she told Trey that she had a similar dream.
Now this is a young man who only weeks before stated that no girl would ever like him. I explained that there was someone for everyone and that he would find his one day. I just didn't think it would be so soon!
We headed back to the wading pool as Trey looked in desperation. He finally slumped his shoulders and put his head under the water. I told him that he was not going to find her under the water and offered to walk with him to the wave pool. Not finding her along the beach, he headed for the water. Off in the distance, I saw her walking away with her family and called to Trey. The look of relief on his face and joy he had found as he raced toward Claire was obvious. This was all new to me so I stayed in the background and waited to see if he had learned anything from his Dad about women.
Trey introduced himself to Claire's father and asked if he could walk with her. The next thing I know, they are walking hand in hand into the sunset away from us. I overheard Claire's little brother saying something about Trey being the one on the ride. The mother said something about hanging back a little to give Claire and Trey some space.
I introduced myself as Trey's father and it seemed that this was a first for both families. As they were leaving, Trey learned that Claire did not live too far from his grandparents and with a little help from dear old Dad, got a telephone number and a correct last name.
When we got ready to leave for the day, Trey floated back to the car and was on Cloud 9 all evening long. I attempted to explain things to him, but he kept talking about her being the one and sighing all night long. Surely, he didn't learn that from me...or did he???
A week later, he left for Boy Scout camp. I made sure that he had stamped addressed envelopes and blank paper to write to his Mom and hopefully me. There was one little surprise for Trey...I secretly stashed an addressed envelope and paper...addressed to Claire. We will see how close the apple is to the tree.
I apologize to those of you that will be humming that little ditty by Donnie Osmond all day long as a result of this column!
David Vs. Goliath
May 28 2006Everyone has heard about David, the boy with the courage to face the giant, Goliath. Against all odds, using his sling, young David killed the giant warrior with the help of the God of Israel. With that successful shot, David shattered the confidence of the Philistines and, for a time, ended their attempt to conquer the tribe of Judah. [1 Samuel 17:4-51]
This story has always been one of my favorite Bible stories as I always have cheered for the underdog and in my current political race ... find myself in a similar position. I have always been a fighter. I compare myself to an elephant and a rattlesnake. I don't forget and I keep striking back.
In doing a little research for this column, I came a cross an interesting event in history where the story of David and Goliath was used as inspiration to rally the troops. In Sapphires by Jonathan Cahn, he writes:
The story of David and Goliath has been invoked countless times over history as a source of inspiration and encouragement to the weak. A famous anecdote about Moshe Dayan, the Minister of Defense when the Six Day War broke out in 1967, recalls how Dayan called his senior officers together on the eve of the war for a pep talk.
When he proceeded to read to them from 1 Samuel 17 the soldiers were outraged: “We’re about to be attacked and he’s reading to us from the Bible?” But Dayan used David to illustrate how the smaller, weaker side can gain the upper hand by identifying and attacking his opponent’s weak points. Goliath was weighed down by heavy weapons and moved slowly; David, unburdened, was agile and light on his feet. A heavy suit of armor protected Goliath’s body, but his face remained vulnerable; David aimed his sling at the one place he knew he could do the most damage. Israel’s ultimate decision in 1967 to pre-empt an Egyptian attack by flying under their radar and destroying the air force on the ground bore all the marks of David’s strategy.
While my battle is on a completely different scale, it is a huge battle to me. I am running against a well financed campaign filled with lots of cash from Political Action Committees and special interest groups. While I have do not the have the resources of my opponent, she must be feeling the heat or otherwise she would not be emptying her coffers of over $100,000...most of it in the last weeks of this campaign conducting push polls, mailing flyers and telephone surveys. She will probably outspend me more than 10 to 1.
I, on the other hand, have been running a grassroots campaign. While my signs and website are among the best to be found of any campaign, my Xerox machine has cranked out thousands of flyers...not too slick, but they get the message across.
After knocking on hundreds of doors and passing out thousands of flyers...the voters of District 43 finally have a clear choice to select from. While we share common ground in many areas, our state has major problems that need to be addressed.
Like David, I have found my opponents weak points and aiming at them. While my opponent wants to retain the power, I want to return it to the people. We trust our local officials to make the right decisions for us and my opponent would prefer to let an outsider from another county make our decisions for us. That is wrong! Limited Home Rule for Shelby County will not allow our county commission to raise our taxes without a vote of the people.
Another hot issue is constitutional reform. The Alabama Constitution of 1901 is antiquated and full of outdated legislation that is of no use in today's world. I feel that the people of District 43, as well as the rest of Alabama, should have the opportunity to vote for a constitutional convention to decide if a new constitution is needed. My opponent feels otherwise. Again, she likes holding on to her power.
If you feel that change is needed in Montgomery or elsewhere, pass this message along to a friend and tell them to vote for someone that has the courage to do the right thing.
The Bully Police
May 21 2006Take a stroll down memory lane and think back on your school days...for most it was a memorable time, for others it was a nightmare. Some treasure their past and others have blocked it out.
Why? Many of those that have blocked it out will tell you it was due to something tragic that happened to them at some point in their childhood. It could have been a result of being bullied or teased by classmates. It could have been because they were different and did not fit in. There is a long list of reasons...too numerous to write about here.
I was fortunate to have a wonderful, well rounded childhood...one with great teachers who served as role models and adults that helped mold me into the person that I am today. Many were not that fortunate.
Long before I decided to enter the Alabama House of Representatives, District 43 race, I would receive publications at work involving education. After reading some of the articles about bullying in our schools and the efforts to stop bullying, I started doing a little research on my own. Sure, I had witnessed classmates being bullied when I was growing up, but not to the extent that I discovered. Do a little research on your own and you too, will be amazed.
Early on, I started seeing signs that my own son, Trey, was going to have a difficult time in his pre-teen years. I will freely admit that he marches to a different drummer and lives in a different world. That is ok. He is happy and they like him there. I keep telling him that the same people that torment him today will probably be asking him for a job one day. That is little consolation in the here and now. I try to be an active part of his activities in Boy Scouts and other interests, but I cannot be there 24 hours a day.
Whenever you hear about another school tragedy, it is later learned that in many cases the root cause of the incident was bullying. Usually, the bullied child has no one to turn to or at least feels that way and reaches a point where either he reacts in a violent manner or harms himself. Many adults will argue that it should be the responsibility of the parents to curb this behavior. Maybe so, in a perfect world. We do not live in one and research will show you that bullying is a learned behavior. If a child is a bully at school, then he probably has a role model at home to teach him the tricks of the trade. That is why it is imperative that victims of bullying have someone at school they can turn to. A teacher, a counselor...any authority figure.
When I was mulling over what my platforms would be for my campaign, it was a given that education would be a cornerstone as my managing the Educational and Governmental divisions of Long's Electronics is my livelihood and depends on technology in education. With my educational background in law enforcement and working closely with law enforcement agencies all across the country, I learned that bullying was far more prevalent that I thought. When I discovered that Alabama was one of twenty five states without legislation regarding bullying...it was destined to be one the foundations of my campaign. I want to enact legislation before something tragic happens, than have to enact something after the fact.
Bullying does not stop in middle school, it progresses to bigger and better adventures as children get older. Some eventually grow out of it and others continue throughout life being a bully.
I want to invite you to visit a couple of websites to educate yourself about bullying and the effects it can have on our children. One is www.bullypolice.org that will give you more information about bullying on a national scope. For an individual perspective about bullying and the effects it has, visit: www.jaredstory.com.
The only way for change to take place...is for all of us to be a force for change. That is one reason why I am offering myself to be a public servant.
Pounding The Pavement
May 14 2006While reading the paper the other day, an advertisement caught my eye for a weigh loss plan. It simply asked..."Need to lose weight? Weight loss that works." Like so many other advertisements out there...most of the weight loss gimmicks do not work. My only thought when I saw this ad was, "Yeah, right."
I had no real reason to be looking at this advertisement as I have a skinny gene in my genetic make up and grew up being called by some as "Skinny Benny." Now I do have a tire that I found in college that I wear around my waist. It tends to deflate and inflate as it wishes. It is rare for me to need to lose weight, although there was once a time where I lost about 25 pounds in a matter of weeks that I didn't need to lose. This girl broke my heart without any warning and sent me into a tailspin. I guess with the combination of this and seeing my business fortunes crashing...I lost my appetite. This is not a weight loss plan I would recommend!
Recently on the campaign trail while delivering yard signs to supporters in the community, several have mentioned that I had lost weight. I simply replied that I hadn't. My thoughts were that it was only being redistributed. I guess my clothes hanging off of me was a pretty good indication that maybe I was losing weight. I was too busy to notice anyway. I finally decided to check the scales. In the last month, I have lost 15 pounds. My eating habits have not changed, but I am getting more exercise. I am running from can until can't... spreading the word about my campaign all over the district. I can be seen pulling off the side of the road and running to set a sign and racing to the next stop. Some homes have long drives that are 50 yards away from where I park. I am definitely getting my exercise. My doctor will probably want me to keep campaigning long after the political season is over...so will Land's End.
If any of you are looking for a surefire weight loss plan...pay me a visit. I will put you to work on the campaign trail. There are lots of homes that I need to visit, but there is just not enough of me to go around and time is running out. Pounding the pavement will help you melt the pounds away without any real changes to your eating habits. If this is not your bag, get your pen out and write me a check. You may not lose any weight, but your bank account will be lighter! I will be more than happy to tell you that you've lost weight!
While it is rare for politicians to pass on an opportunity to politick, I hear the call of the sizzle and I must heed the call to burn off more fat as there are more doors to knock on.
